I said I would write more about how things have changed from when I used to write frequently on this blog. If you are reading this and are new to this blog, I used to portray myself as a "lifestyle blogger" living an "everyday gothic lolita life".
Lifestyle lolitas back then often strived to portray themselves as modern princesses flirting with old traditions (my choice of words and my view of the lifestyle lolitas, not theirs): cute pets, cute home, cute tea sets, cute pastries, cute everything. As for me, I dressed the part but didn't feel like I fit in on any other parts of what a lifestyler would be. My main objective became to show that it was possible to dress in lolita fashion and still maintain ones personality as is, with lots of photos and shorter texts.
In the beginning I had an accepting work environment for several years in a smaller town with few friends around me. I worked and I blogged. That was pretty much it. As I started to climb the career ladder I also moved to a bigger city and got back to bigger friend circles. I got more influential job roles with more responsibility and people started taking me less seriously whenever I showed up in any kind of alternative clothing. The blogging got put aside because I had more to do, people to see and not enough reasons or possibilities to dress the way I loved the most.
Since I wore lolita fashion less I also bought less new items, I went to less meetups and of course I didn't initiate any events either. I slowly slipped out of the loop. On top of this, I had a great career but started falling into mental illness that I still suffer from today. It was a paradox: I felt like I was caged in several ways and one of the things that actually made me feel free was basically out of the question if I wanted to maintain my successful career.
Somewhere along the line I got the feeling that my inspiration and aspiration was gone when it came to several aspects of my life. I had gotten stuck, even within lolita fashion. The feeling of joy that I got from lolita fashion and other things was just not there anymore. My mental illness was at it's peak by this time as well.
Since then I have slowly but surely gotten my mental illness under control. With the gained control I also found my way back to the things I love - lolita fashion being one of those things. I buy the occassional item to complete my wardrobe, I have been traveling for international lolita events but laying a bit low when it comes to my local community.
My main objective with this blog now is to show my view of lolita fashion in texts and maybe a few photos. Because I would like to share my thoughts, anecdotes and feelings about a subject I truly love.